it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
