I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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