How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
