and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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