Tell her she can't have a vagina
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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