I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
