I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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