Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
