I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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