So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
