he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
