i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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