so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you had me at cake vodka
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
