when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
