you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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