i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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