Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
