just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
