Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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