I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
