Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He has the fingertips of a God
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