when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
