I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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