going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
