Don't make out with my wife yet
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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