dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
try to milk me bitch
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