i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
