like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
