break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
