its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
