I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Randomize
