I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize