Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
4 words: hood of his car
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
