no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
