If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
