We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
