Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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