have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
