had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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