So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
