yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
