Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
