It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
