this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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