Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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