I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
