can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
