There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
