hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
