brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
