Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm both gender and math confused
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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